The Fairy Tale Connection and That Loving Feeling

I read about TiH’s who after a spanking feel loved and secure and all warm inside with an almost luminescent glow about them. Then later, not understanding why they feel that way, try to figure it out, only to become frustrated in their attempt.

I believe a nexus can be drawn between fairytales and TTWD. One day Nina complained that the mother in fairy tales was always portrayed as the evil step mother and the father was always the good guy. She said "no fair" and asked why that was. I read about it and it seems there is a reason.

Children at a young age do not have the capacity to feel ambivalence. After they are born and for the first few years their mother is this absolutely wonderful being that has no other purpose in life other than to meet their every need. 

Then one day a terrible thing happens....the mom says to the child "no"!

What happened to this wonderful person? Since the child does not have the capacity to handle simultaneous contradictory feelings about the mom, i.e. love and admiration / anger and resentment, they face a psychological dilemma. That is where the fairytale comes to the rescue. 

By definition a fairytale starts out in reality, they all live together and life is good. Then a bad thing happens....the good mother has died and been replaced by an evil step-mother!  The fairytale then moves into the realm of the surreal. They find gingerbread houses in the forest and beanstalks rising into the sky, and there is always an adversary. In the fairytale, the children on their own accord defeat the evil adversary and the fairytale winds up back in reality, returning to a happy home.

Hearing the story allows the child to vent their feelings vicariously and afterwards are once again in a happy state of mind. What is interesting is that not only is it important for them to hear the same story the exact same way (which is why your children will correct you if you try to change something) but it is not necessary for them to understand why they like to hear the fairytale for it to work its magic, and in fact understanding why can destroy the healing power of the fairytale!

Simply put, TTWD and fairy tales each provide an emotional benefit that makes you feel better. So, the next time you get “that loving feeling”, enjoy it, embrace it, caress it, and never ever feel angst or trepidation about why!