Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Confession and Commitment

Hello to everyone,

I have been absent from the community for a while and I wanted to share why. I have an admission; I never told Nina about my blog. 

I started out as an anonymous lurker before eventually getting the nerve to actually comment. Commenting was kind of scary, as if you were about to attend a party with a group of people who all new each other and you were the solo newcomer. It was due to lurking and seeing how friendly and accepting everyone was that made it possible to finally select the enter button for my first comment.

Creating a blog name was the next step and hence “George” was created.  As both a minority male commentor and male spankee it was a slow process of sharing, but I never met a more accepting and caring group and I was made to feel totally welcome. I met new friends with whom I shared comments. What a wonderful place this community where we can talk freely with kindred spirits!

Nina is a very vanilla girl and as such, initially, I was reluctant to tell her about my new found friends because  I imagined she would think the worst and suspect me of indulging in some type of errant, if not deviant behavior. The more involved I got, the more I felt like I was doing something wrong. Not wrong in the sense of the comments or posts, but wrong that if Nina was not an active participant, she should at least be aware. I kept waiting for the “right” time to tell her and it always seemed that for some reason tomorrow would always provide a better opportunity.

A few weeks ago Nina came to me and said she noticed a Gmail log-in on our computer and asked me if I had created a Gmail account so I told her about my blogging. Just as I had suspected her first thoughts were I was into some kind of deviant activity. I explained that this was nothing bad. It was a great group of couples who shared the same desire for spanking and most of the topics discussed on the blogs were non-spanking related. I apologized for not sharing sooner but explained it was because I feared she would think the worst.

We talked for a long while and she was understandably not happy with me for not telling her and I had no argument with that. I explained how it just started slow and kind of gained wings and I just never found the right time to share. I asked her to let me introduce her to some of you and for her to read the blogs but she was not interested.  She said she was just not comfortable sharing our spanking adventures but that she was not going to insist I stop. 

I know that nothing good will come to pass if I have a blog and Nina is uncomfortable with it. She will always suspect the worst, but more than that, continuing would I fear only be a road to future problems. I really feel terrible for not sharing with her in the beginning, so I have decided to take a leave from blogging. It is my deepest hope that she will have a change of heart and want to find out more about this great group. If she does I will be back, but if not, my commitment to our marriage is of paramount importance and I will just have to adapt to life without a spanking blog.

I cannot undo past transgressions but what I will do is make certain not to replicate those mistakes in the future. I believe that God can make something good come from all things and this is no exception. We discussed a lot about what was causing our difficulties communicating and what was causing me to feel reluctant sharing with her.  As a result, we are communicating  better now than in a long time and she is as happy as she has been in ages.

Perhaps I was behaving differently because of her not knowing about the blog and she sensed something was wrong and now that she knows and we talked it was a relief. I know it is for me and I feel a lot better. Anyway, things are really good between us now and I don’t want to replicate any stupid actions like not sharing with her.  I do believe that longevity has a way of making it easy to fall into the trap of just acquiescing to each other, which leads to less talking and less communicating. Perhaps a good lesson for us all?

A very wise man once said to me, all good things must come to an end and so after this post so goes my blog. I have really enjoyed blogging and I plan to leave the blog up after I publish this final post explaining things. I will check back in a couple of weeks for any excoriating comments.

I will miss all the wonderful folks in our community but this is the right thing for me to do. Nina and I really are talking more and things are better than they have been in a long time. 

I thought I would post some pictures to close, I hope you enjoy. Most are from a recent trip to Tortola, British Virgin Islands (do I have a great job or what!)


                                          Caribbean between Tortola and San Juan


                                               Tortola, British Virgin Island


                                                  Landing at Beef Island Airport


                                                        Beach at Tortola,  BVI


                                                    More Ocean at Tortola, BVI


                                             Over Central Mexico at 41000 feet


                                                               I love clouds!

If I don’t ever get back to blogging, I will be forever grateful I had the opportunity to get to know each and every one of you.

Hugs, Blessings and much love,

George

14 comments:

  1. Hi George! :) We will miss you around these parts!

    I can see how it would be possible for it all to get away from you. I am glad to hear that you were then able to tell Nina, and that it has led to some great talking and perhaps growth in your love for each other. Though we will miss you, your priorities are in order! Nina is a lucky girl to have you. And we are lucky to know you via your kind words and thoughts that you have shared.

    Thank you also for sharing your fabulous photos! I have looked forward to seeing them each month. You are an amazing photographer! It has been a treat!

    Maybe one day we will see you back around. I hope so. The support is nice with this kind of lifestyle. Perhaps over time, that is something that Nina will come to understand. In the meantime, wishing you and Nina all the best- much fun, love and happiness together, and into the future. Take good care! Many hugs,

    <3 Katie

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  2. Hi George, some of what you write sounds familiar to me. Hubby knows about my blog, but he set limits to my blogging. I am allowed to blog, but anything too personal could lead to a shut down, so I better be careful.

    Would your Nina maybe feel better if you used the blog as something you used together? You could even have her read your entries before you publish any, so that she could feel better about it. But I can understand that the problem is there because she didn’t know about the blog in the first place, :( and that you do take a leave from blogging for her is adorable and shows how much you care for her too.
    I loved your blog entries and the marvelous pictures that you showed us and it makes me sad to see you go, … but to put your marriage first is definitely and absolutely more important, I’d say.

    I think Nina (not me; I rarely talk about myself 3rd person!) is so lucky to have you and I love that you put her first, which is the right thing to do. Nevertheless, I do hope that you might return to blogging in the future. Thank you for your thoughts and the awesome pictures! Wishing you all the best. Take care.

    hugs

    Nina (the other one :D )

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  3. Hi George,

    I love the pictures and you're right, you do hae a great job.

    I totally understand why you are taking a break from your blog. If your wife every feels comfortable and you come back to the community, we will be happy to welcome you back. Until then, have a wonderful life and continued great communcations with your wife.

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  4. George, You're a good husband to give up something you enjoy for your wife. You are right to do what ever is best for your marriage. But if nothing else I hope you can help her some day see that you simple found a group of friends to talk to about a common interest - It could have been stamp collecting, sports fantasy teams or spanking. You were just talking to other about this interest. I don't want her to think you were doing something wrong.

    I blogged a while before I told Nick. Mostly because I knew he would have no interest in it. What he saw, in my case, was that I was happier than I had been in the past. I had more interest in him and our marriage. I would love for Nina to be willing to read out here a little, we'd love to meet her and talk if she would ever want to.

    I love your picture! I hope you and Nina are very happy and it seems like you will be.

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  5. Hey George,

    It's so hard to say good-bye. But I know that you are doing the right thing. Nina and her feelings are most important here - and anything you can do to build her trust & give her peace can only bring good things to your relationship. I'm glad to hear that it's already gotten better. :)

    I'm really going to miss you. I've loved your posts and all the wonderful photos you've shared. You've been a special friend - with a big heart - and I hope that you won't be away forever.

    But no matter what, I wish you all the best. ♥
    hugs,
    Cali

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  6. Hey George...I so hope that you come back sometime to blogland and Nina allows us to get to know her. I already like her just based on your description. Thank you for sharing the lovely pics...you have such an awesome job!

    Please stay in touch. You know where to find me if there is anything I can do for you or Nina. (you might ask her to read the comments on this last post.)

    Stay right side up!

    Hugs and Blessings...
    Cat

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  7. Hi George, I am so sorry to see you step back from blogging, but you are definitely doing the right thing. You, Nina and your relationship are what is important.

    I have really enjoyed visiting here and your amazing pictures. Thank you too for the support you have offered me in your comments.

    It is good that Nina knows and I am so glad this has improved communication between you and made you even closer. I hope you will stay in touch and that you will be able to return to blogging. Wishing you and Nina the very best.

    Hugs
    Roz

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  8. I knew this was coming and yet for some reason reading it here was way more difficult than I could possibly imagine :( . I will miss *YOU* very much. George the blogger was great, and fun, and offered a unique perspective on my blog. But most of all I will miss ___________ my friend.

    I can understand how you would be communicating better now. No doubt Nina sensed there was something 'between' you. You are such a kind and sweet soul, I have no doubt it was eating at you to have this secret, and us women are pretty observant!

    Who knows maybe meeting for lunch someday may come to pass....But if not, please know that my life was enriched because you were a part of it, if only for a short while.

    I wish you nothing but the best my friend, and I will think of you often~

    Much love now, and into the future,

    willie

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  9. George, I'll miss your posts and pictures! I too hope that you may return some day but keeping Nina comfortable and working on your relationship are the most important.

    Best wishes to you both!

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  10. George, we will all miss you. But what you are doing is for the best. Nina is the most important person in your life and to give up a blog, whilst sad, is such a small thing compared to losing the trust of the woman you love. We all understand.

    Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Thankfully, none of us have it. It is so important that you have truth between you.

    Should you ever be able to return to blogland, you will be welcomed with open arms.

    I wish you all the best for the future, and send you many hugs, both for you and for Nina.

    Many hugs
    Ami

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  11. George, I am so sorry, but I too agree with everyone here that you have to think about what is best for you and Nina.
    If it ever comes to pass that she is comfortable with this blogging world, we will be here!

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  12. I respect your decision to stop blogging and know you are doing what is best for you and Nina at this time. I wish the two of you much happiness together. The photos are beautiful. Thank-you for sharing...wishing you the best. :-)

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  13. Hi George, I've been away for quite a while and am doing my best to get caught up. Your posts (and you!) will be missed, but count me amongst those who believe you're making the right choice. It sounds like you and Nina have a wonderful relationship. I wish you the best, and I hope to see you back here one day!

    Hugs,
    Sadie

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  14. Hi George,

    I'm sorry that you will no longer be blogging. You will be missed. I also did not tell my husband about my blog for some months, but he was very understanding when I finally confessed.

    May I suggest that you do not delete your blog, but make it private, so that some spammer does not steal your URL and post all sorts of nonsense here.

    Hugs,
    Hermione

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