Tuesday, May 14, 2013

The Fairy Tale Connection and That Loving Feeling


I read about TiH’s who after a spanking feel loved and secure and all warm inside with an almost luminescent glow about them. Then later, not understanding why they feel that way, try to figure it out, only to become frustrated in their attempt.
I believe a nexus can be drawn between fairytales and TTWD. One day Nina complained that the mother in fairy tales was always portrayed as the evil step mother and the father was always the good guy. She said "no fair" and asked why that was. I read about it and it seems there is a reason.
Children at a young age do not have the capacity to feel ambivalence. After they are born and for the first few years their mother is this absolutely wonderful being that has no other purpose in life other than to meet their every need. 

Then one day a terrible thing happens....the mom says to the child "no"!


What happened to this wonderful person? Since the child does not have the capacity to handle simultaneous contradictory feelings about the mom, i.e. love and admiration / anger and resentment, they face a psychological dilemma. That is where the fairytale comes to the rescue. 
By definition a fairytale starts out in reality, they all live together and life is good. Then a bad thing happens....the good mother has died and been replaced by an evil step-mother!  The fairytale then moves into the realm of the surreal. They find gingerbread houses in the forest and beanstalks rising into the sky, and there is always an adversary. In the fairytale, the children on their own accord defeat the evil adversary and the fairytale winds up back in reality, returning to a happy home.
Hearing the story allows the child to vent their feelings vicariously and afterwards are once again in a happy state of mind. What is interesting is that not only is it important for them to hear the same story the exact same way (which is why your children will correct you if you try to change something) but it is not necessary for them to understand why they like to hear the fairytale for it to work its magic, and in fact understanding why can destroy the healing power of the fairytale!
Simply put, TTWD and fairy tales each provide an emotional benefit that makes you feel better. So, the next time you get “that loving feeling”, enjoy it, embrace it, caress it, and never ever feel angst or trepidation about why!  


8 comments:

  1. Once again George, very well put! It is true we need to stop looking at the why, and enjoy the 'happily ever after'.

    Hope things are well with you!
    love,
    willie

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    1. Thanks Willie, sometimes we all make life too complicated, and that definitely includes me!

      Blessings,

      George

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  2. Hi George, :)

    This was interesting to think about! You are right- kids tend to just be accepting around stuff like that! They simply "enjoy the ride." We should too it seems! I loved this post! Hugs!

    <3 Katie

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    1. Thank you Katie, glad you enjoyed it. Fairy tales are very interesting from a psychological perspective. We are complex creatures and I suppose that is what makes life interesting! I agree that there are times that we should just "enjoy the ride" and say "la vida es muy bueno".

      Blessings,

      George

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    2. Hi George! :)

      I thank you! When I started to reply to your post, I found it all so interesting that I wrote a big long thing! :) I looked at it and told myself that this would be hijacking! LOL! So I went and dropped it on a draft on blogger. I have yet to work it but you gave me some interesting things to think about. Thanks so much George. I love reading what you have to say! Hugs and blessings back at you!

      <3 Katie

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    3. Hi Katie, I am so glad that you liked the post. I would love to read all about your opinions and have no objections to you "hijacking" anything I have written. I am sure your ideas would be a poignant addition.

      I could have gone on for pages about the issue of fairy tales. There are girl fairy tales, boy fairy tales, pre-and post pubescent fairy tales and on and on, but the theme of the post was that just as when we were children and got good feelings after hearing a fairy tale, we just need to accept that we get positive emotional benefits from something the mass of society may deem as odd behavior and not worry about why. Because although society may have a collectively different judgment of us, judging others does not define who they are, it defines who we are (in this case the we is society).

      FYI, I learned most of my information from a book by Dr. Bruno Bettelheim titled: The Uses of Enchantment: The Meaning and Importance of Fairy Tales. It analyzes fairy tales far beyond what I need to know, but it is fascinating none the less!

      I wish you and Rob all the best and look forward to reading you ideas after you get them all organized.

      George

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  3. Oh I am constantly trying to figure it out. LOL...right now my husband (who is a little sick) is explaining why he is NOT going to spank me tonight and making sure that I understand it all so that I don't go off the deep end trying to figure out what he's thinking.

    Maybe better to just listen and embrace it.

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  4. Hi Susie, sorry to be late responding. I will say only that if you do try to figure out what he is thinking, after you come up with your best guess, simplify it by a factor of five and you will probably be close :-) We guys are far more simple-minded creatures than you girls. LOL

    Have a blessed day,

    Goerge

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